InsaneJournal

Fic: (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prints, Harry Potter, PG, parody)
Title: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prints
Date: February 3, 2005
Rating: PG
Warnings: None, except for bad grammar-based humour
Notes: When the title of HBP was first released, and did not contain the dash in Half-Blood, a bunch of us joked about how you could have half a blood prince, etc., and it was pretty funny, or at least I thought it was. Antosha started it.

Why, yes, I am archiving my old fics, thank you for asking.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prints

Everyone was surprised, but pleased, when Harry took up art as a hobby. It would ease his stress, Dumbledore said. It would let him exercise his blatant disregard for neatness and order, Snape sneered. It would keep him out of their hair when they wanted to snog, Ron and Hermione muttered.

One sunny afternoon, Hermione and Ron climbed the ladder to Professor Trelawney's tower, which Harry had claimed for his studio. It got the best northern light, Harry had explained earnestly to Professor Trelawney, who was so impressed that Harry hadn't yet dropped dead that she offered to teach in the classroom with Firenze.

"This is really great, Harry," Ron said, turning in a slow circle to study the statues and paintings. "Hey, is this a sculpture of a potato?"

Harry looked crestfallen. "No," he said, "it's supposed to be Dumbledore."

Hermione gave Ron a withering look. "This one's really good, though, Harry. Is it Malfoy?"

Harry nodded proudly.

"But, um, mate," Ron asked hesitantly, "why were you drawing a picture of Malfoy, anyway?"

Harry turned about seven shades of Weasley red. "Come see this," he said hurriedly, leading them over to the other side of the tower. "It's my newest thing. You make a stylus out of heavy parchment and then print the design onto paper, like a stamp."

"This one has a beautiful range of colour," Hermione admired, tilting a crimson-red print toward the sunlight. "Except the paint is sort of lumpy. What did you use?"

"Uh, well, Voldemort sort of - "

"Don't say the name," Ron groaned.

" - gave me the idea. You know, when he came back to life?"

"Back to life?" Hermione echoed.

"Harry," Ron asked, looking like he might vomit another round of slugs. "Is that blood?"

"Mixed with a very fine oil paint that Dumbledore gave me," Harry explained hastily. "Dumbledore's really been encouraging me to explore my creativity. He's even going to help me produce a book of my art."

"A book?" Hermione said, her cheeks slowly turning back to pink. "Oh, well done you, then! What will you call it?"

"Oh, haven't I told you?" Harry beamed. "It'll be out in July. I think I'll title it Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prints."